A Hard Season, A Great Outcome, An Adoption

Man, time slips by pretty quickly sometimes. I really do feel like I would enjoy blogging if I would stick to it and remember that I enjoy writing almost as much as I enjoy reading other people's blogs. It seems as though I left on an awesome vacation in July and never picked back up!

The vacation to Asheville with one of my best friends, Alison, was wonderful. Seriously. One of the nicest breaths of fresh air I had had in quite a long time. Great company, accommodations, food, activities, weather, did I mention food?!, shopping. You name it! Got home feeling so relaxed and loving life, that somehow I just flopped on this. But here I am again. I really do want to get the hang of this. And while I may not ever be a blog 4 times a week kind of girl, I'd love to be a blog at least once or twice a week kind of gal, so back to work!

I think the past six to seven months has been a defining period of my life. It all started, unknowingly at the time, with a strong impression from the Lord that Brian would have the opportunity to travel, and that regardless of the place, timing, length of time, etc that I should absolutely encourage him to go. I thought it was a bit odd, and then a few days later Brian mentioned in passing that he had been offered the opportunity to travel for a couple of weeks to Ethiopia and that he would be turning it down. I knew then that this was the trip that he was supposed to go on. So I convinced him that I would be fine with the girls, and we would work out having my mom come and stay with us some, and whatever else it took to get the job done so that he could take this trip. I didn't tell him at the time that I felt the Lord had told me this trip was lined out for Him to do or start something new in him. I just waited. And boy did He deliver!  Brian has been on an adventure of spiritual growth, personal discovery, maturing, and seeking unlike at any time in his life.

What I did not expect was that He was going to be doing the same thing in my life as well through the time and circumstances of Brian's absence while on that trip. Perhaps He knew that I might not have been so keen on the idea of Brian going if I had known that. ;) Regardless, while Brian was gone, the Lord was also allowing me to see and experience some areas of unhealthy relationship in my life, and how deeply rooted they were, and how much wounding I had actually sustained over the course of my lifetime in this relationship. This hard time while Brian was on the other side of the globe, out in the bush, and completely unavailable for days at a time, really opened up my eyes to see how much I need the Lord, in a real and tangible way, every day, in my life. And also to how utterly He has always been there.

That trip kicked off a season of counseling, book reading, prayer, seeking, and deep conversations that has brought peace and transformation to both mine and Brian's lives. And I am amazed to see how much we have grown, changed, and grown together in this span of time. God has been so good and faithful to us as He has gently led us to understanding, forgiveness, repentance, and so much more.

Simultaneous to this, we have also gotten our adoption process underway for our first adopted child to be! I think the Lord's hand has been all over that, and I am so thankful to have seen these two things dovetail with one another.

We have been cleared by the FBI and GBI for our fingerprints, and have attended our first of two introductory meetings to our adoption agency. We will be going again next month for our final meeting before starting the home study process and making our portfolio to show to birth mothers. We are so excited to see this journey really get rocking and rolling that we can hardly stand it!

While investigating into the possibility of receiving an adoption grant in our community, we were directed toward a church in middle Georgia who has just begun an adoption and orphan care ministry. While we would have to already have a completed home study to apply for the local grant, the other opportunity did not require that, and so we were referred to them. After a few initial emails, and a phone call with Brian, we were busy writing up our heart for adoption and how the Lord has led us here, gathering reference letters, and mapping out the financial cost for our adoption. We submitted it all a few weeks ago, and today we found out that they are giving us a $1000 grant! We are so overwhelmingly thankful and excited! We haven't even begun fundraising for this adoption yet or received even our first invoice from our agency, and the Lord is already providing for us. We are so blessed. It is beyond my ability to grasp it. While I know that we will have many thousands of dollars to go before it is all said and done, it is quite the feeling to know that we are starting this process with a credit in our account. And I can't wait to see where this adoption journey leads us! To a baby in our arms, and many instances of God's goodness, faithfulness, and opportunities to grow in our trust of Him. And much more I can't yet anticipate is sure to be found along the way.

All in all, these past 7 months have been an adventure with God, with myself, with my spouse. And while it has been hard, it has also been some of the best times in our marriage. And I cannot wait to see what else the future holds for us, for our family, for our loved ones. He is so good, y'all. Sometimes I have wondered where in the world He is, or what He is doing, or why He is allowing it in the past few years of sickness and hardship. I have waited it out through a long season (by His grace) and have believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. And boy have I ever. Waiting for the Lord was worth it. Commanding my soul to take courage was worth it.  His presence makes the hard times fade and pale in comparison. And trusting Him to be my overcomer empowers me to continue to run the race with renewed confidence.

So thankful. So. thankful.