This whole postpartum recovery thing has not been a walk in the park. I still really want to write my birth stories so that all this can make more sense in context and so that I'll have them written down, but it just takes so much time, I haven't gotten to it yet. I mean seriously, when does a mama with a 6 week old and a two year old have time to sit down and write a story out from start to finish? And thats how I work. I really want to do it all at once. We'll get there. Eventually.
For the meantime, I'm thinking about how crazy this past 6 weeks has been. I've had a bladder infection that lasted over 3 weeks and took 3 different rounds of antibiotics to clear it up, including a majorly itchy allergic reaction to one of those meds. This was followed up by a yeast infection that has been going strong for a few weeks after 2 rounds of meds. I still haven't stopped bleeding. Last time they had to put me on antibiotics and some other fun drug that simulates your entire menstrual cycle in 24 hours to get the bleeding to stop. But since I've been on so many antibiotics they don't want to do that just yet. So we're waiting another 4 weeks. Whats another 4 weeks of bleeding when you've already been bleeding for 6?! Of course, none of this includes any of the drama of the first week after Brighton was born.
First there was the engorgement. Doctor said it was the worst of any patient he's ever seen in all the time he has practiced, and he called in literally everyone on the medical staff to come and take a look. Then there was the very deep episiotomy I had, and how unhappy feeling that first week was with that. And let's not forget the site of the botched epidural that got all inflamed and put so much pressure on surrounding nerves that I literally almost passed out if/when I or anyone else touched it. The day of Brighton's first doctors appointment I was in so much pain from all 3 of these things that I couldn't stand, couldn't sit, and couldn't lay down. I didn't know that was humanly possible, but now that I do, I'll never forget what that was like. And of course the doctor was taking forever. By the time he finally came in to see us, I was propped up on a counter just trying to stay on my feet. Fortunately, these things were the short lived part. All resolved within the first week of my sweet little girl's new life. Praise Jesus for that!
But its the lingering things that have been the most difficult. And then I got a call from the doctor that my lab work came back with my thyroid off again. With my medication, I've swung to being quite hyperthyroid at this point. They switched up the dose of my meds, but it takes about 2 weeks to fully take effect. In retrospect, I have been a bit high strung the past month or so (I'm guessing Brian would say VERY high strung), and I bet we have found the culprit here. A hyper thyroid does exactly what it sounds like...speeds everything up. I haven't been depressed. I've been on emotional speed! If I am happy, I couldn't be happier! But if I'm mad, you had better watch out. Lorien keeps waking Brighton up yelling in the hall outside her room, and I finally realized last night that it's just not appropriate (not to mention sinful) to want to bash your child in the head for disturbing your other child. Nor is it appropriate to wish that your crawl space were a dungeon you could banish them to. And even after realizing this, I couldn't get a level head. I was just plain livid. So. Not. Like. Me.
Oh thyroid. Please stop. Go back to my normal. Or a new normal. Just chill out long enough for us to figure out the correct dosage of my meds. And bleeding. Please stop. I mean seriously, you've done your job. Chill out. And yeast infection. I'm not even speaking to you anymore. So take a hint. I'm done with all of you. And so very ready to get back to normal life. Because I love it. And I am so blessed beyond what I could have ever dreamed up. And I really just want to enjoy my life to the fullest, thankyouverymuch!
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